Mom Isn't Just My Mother

Most of my life, I lived away from my birth family. I make that distinction because once you go off and start your own family, the one you were born into becomes once removed, if you know what I mean. 

And once removed is a good way to describe my relationship with my mother, father and sisters. We may think we know each other, but unless you’re around for the hard stuff and the day to day struggles, you don’t really see the changes that come over the ones you love. They become frozen in time in a way.  The phone calls and occasional visits are not enough to continue to truly know the ones with whom you shared the beginning of your life.

Nothing has made that more apparent to me than the re-acquaintance I’ve experienced with my mother.  Mothers and daughters have that traditional thing, you know – where to be told we’re like our mother is the absolute worst thing you can tell us.  But for me, that’s not true anymore. 

I came back to California four years ago and began a new relationship with my family. I wasn’t aware of it at the time, but for each one there was a renewal. With my mother, I’ve learned that I’m very much like her and I’m proud of that. 

She’s tough, brave, a hard-worker and very imaginative. We share the imagination. When she gets an idea in her head, she’s also hell-bent on doing it and woes be to the person who stands in her way. I also inherited that trait. 

The mother who sewed clothes for all of us – my three sisters and I – and did all the traditional 1950s mom stuff is not the woman I know now.  I’m sure she’s at the core of this new person, but I’m really having fun with the version I know now. She laughs and isn’t afraid to be silly. She’s up for almost anything.  If I have anything to be concerned about now, it’s that she may well work herself into the ground. 

What I’m seeing now that I couldn’t see for many years is that my mother is so much more than that. She’s a person, a woman in her own right, not defined by her motherhood, simply shaped by it in some ways. Now, after all these long years, she’s my friend. 

I love you, Mom.

Barbie - The Man-Eater

Red and I had this long conversation about inviting Barbie (the bimbo), from Red is an Attitude, to the Veranda and came to the conclusion that it would ruin the sanctity of our peaceful place to invite a woman we both consider a man-eater to join us on the Veranda. Therefore we did what any sane female would do when faced with a dilemma like this - we decided to talk about her instead!

Red: Seriously, she would have completely destroyed the karma of this spot with her floozy ways. All that blonde hair and exposed skin would generate a meltdown.

Kathy: Well, I remember she actively tried to add Joe to her trophy case. 

Red: Absolutely! And she was well on the way to breaking up Aggie's marriage. I mean, what would it say about us if we encouraged her by giving her the grand invitation to our sacred spot?

Kathy: I get your point. How about I just add a clip from the book in here so the readers can get the picture?

Red: Good idea – take it away.

Excerpt from Red is an Attitude:

My reverie was disturbed and my mind was drawn back to the ship when, suddenly, Mac leaned forward, his uncut ears perked and his nose wrinkling with the effort to locate a smell, when a couple of Labradors came out of the door to the ship’s doggy café, Treats. There was a white female; quite a bit less muscled than her coal black male companion. The owner, who struggled to manage the two on separate leashes, was a lean and tanned blonde, a long-legged beauty with an impossibly narrow waist in a teeny white bikini. My love, Joe, had perked up, too and was watching “Barbie” trot her two pooches across the deck and right by our cluster of lounge chairs. 

I reached over and subtly punched Joe. I couldn’t do anything about Mac, except clutch his leash in my hand and hope he wouldn’t take off after the white Lab. 

I needn’t have worried. The lab liked what she saw and headed straight for Mac. 

“Indy! Indy, girl. Hold on,” Barbie hollered, ineffectually. She tossed her long locks over her shoulder and smiled a little too widely at Joe. 

“Sorry, about that!” Aiming her words not at me, the one holding the leash, but at my man.

Joe smiled back, “No problem.”

I piped up with a bit of an edge to my voice. “Yeah, I’ve got Mac under control here. If she’s Indy, who’s he?” I asked indicating the charcoal stud attached to her other hand.

She giggled. Of course, she did. “That’s Cabo! He’s just a big lug. They’re brother and sister – well, half-brother and sister. Two different litters and different daddies, but the same Mom.” She finished with a flash of white, which blinded me for a minute, but I was assuming it was her teeth. 

“Good thing they’re related, so Cabo won’t mind that Mac looks interested in Indy,” Joe threw in with an obnoxiously sexy grin. 

Both Barbie and I checked them out. It was definitely mutual. There was the usual sniffing going on and I could have sworn Mac smiled. Dogs do, you know. Smile, I mean. I decided if Mac and Indy were going to be dating, I should introduce myself to her owner. I stuck my hand out towards Barbie, who seemed surprised but shook it. 

“I’m Lydia Talbot. Most people call me Red,” I said.

She took in my flaming mass of wild hair and answered, “I can see why! I’m Cindi,” then she turned her attention back to Joe. “And you are?”

Joe nearly stumbled over himself, lifting his butt out of the chaise. But he finally stood and extended his hand, too. “Joe. I’m Joe.”

Cindi’s next question threw me. 

“Are you here by yourself?” she asked him. 

I looked around to make sure I wasn’t invisible and finally back at her when I noticed a guy along the railing checking me out, proof positive I wasn’t undetectable. I left it to Joe to find his way out of this one. He gulped, glanced my way and answered as firmly as he could manage.

“Nope, this fine woman is my lady.” He had recovered nicely. 

“Too bad,” she answered, smiling at me acidly. “No offense.”

“None taken. I’m more into developing a defensive strategy,” I answered with a frozen smile. 

She giggled again, pretending not to understand my reference, tossed that golden mane and tugged at her two companions.

“Come on, Indy. Cabo,” she urged as she waltzed off, watched by hoards of men, young and old alike.

“Well, she’s something!” I declared, emphatically.

Joe shook his head, “Isn’t she though? I wonder if Dad’s spotted her, yet.”

“He’s with Evelyn,” I answered indignantly. 

“Doesn’t keep him from looking. It’ll be good for his heart.”

I huffed a little and reached down to pat Mac.

“You still love me, don’t you, boy?”

Mac was too busy looking longingly after Indy to give me the lick on the cheek this question usually elicited. Damn! Lost both my boys in one fell swoop.

++++++

See what we mean?????????

Change or Shut Up

I know this sounds harsh, but for real, if all you want to do is complain and never change your way of doing things, then shut up!

How many people do you know who grumble about their lives when simple changes could solve their perceived problems? How often do you listen to the same old grievances over and over, then offer suggestions only to be told, “Yes, but…” when you say “How about trying this?”

It’s a waste of time to listen to these people, for nothing will ever change because they really don’t want anything to change. They much prefer to suffer. And then talk about their pain over and over and over again.

Change is easy for me. I thrive on it. However this attitude of mine isn’t coming from a love of change. It’s coming from the realization that I’ve just spent another hour of my life listening to someone who actually seems to enjoy their dilemma. God forbid they should do anything differently.

I think I’m basically a kind person, so I refuse to back down from this stance. Anyway, I don’t think it’s doing this type of person any good at all to allow them to wallow in their self-pity. I know all too well – having become a widow at age 47 – that life is too damn short for this stuff.

So, my advice to one and all is if you refuse to make changes yourself, then suck it up and accept your life the way it is. If you’re the listener, point out that you’ve heard this all before and flatly tell your “friend” that you’re not going to spend any more time on the issue unless they are serious about changing their situation.

Just to be clear, I am not talking about those poor souls who really ARE stuck in a scenario they cannot change. For them, I will listen all day.

So, now it is on me to change my own behavior and point out to this person that my life is slipping away while I listen to her bemoaning her own.

Have a Little Adventure on Me

I had a great time writing my novella The Great Twitter Adventure: How 5 Tweeps Saved the World, which I published back in January.  It’s the tale of five Twitter friends, four of whom travel from across the country to come to the aid of the unspoken leader of their group, Frank. There’s Maggie, the 35 year-old personnel recruiter who spearheaded the effort to rescue Frank; Edie, a spiky-haired sixtyish sprite of a woman who is a recreational hacker in her spare time; Dwayne, a golf-pro from Florida with all the style of Samuel L. Jackson and Tex, the cowboy who hails from Tucson. They cavort around the Los Angeles basin in search of their pal and manage to save the world in the process. It’s truly great fun.

I published it back in January and the promptly got sidetracked so it hasn’t gotten the attention from me that I think it deserves. Now, I’m running a free promotion on Amazon from Tuesday (5/1) through Friday (5/4). I hope you’ll take advantage of it and have a wonderful time reading it. If you do, I would sincerely appreciate a review if you have the time.

A sequel is planned for publication in the next couple of months. Did I mention this will be a running series, with three to four new novellas every year? What can I say? I love these guys!

Just click through on the book cover to your right and it will take you right to the Amazon page.

Oh, and say hello to The Fearless Five for me – that’s what they call themselves!

Meet Aggie - Red's Newest Friend

Okay, I promised that Red and I would bring some of her new friends from the sequel, Red is an Attitude, to the Veranda and here’s the first one, Agatha Gamboni! We love her. She’s from Chicago, was badly used by her big lug of a husband, Henry and befriended by Red on the cruise to Mexico, on which she arrived by an unusual means.

Red:  (rushing forward) Aggie! So glad to see you again. You look great! (She's an older woman, is dressed in a very stylish purple flowered sundress and bright sandals, with a filmy shawl draped over her shoulders)

Aggie: (smiling widely) Red! Boy, have I missed you! Where’s Joe?

Kathy: Well, up until now, Joe hasn’t joined us on the Veranda. In fact, you’re the first fictional guest.

Aggie: (frowning suddenly) Fictional? Don’t tell me you discriminate based on living versus fictional! Lordy, I wouldn’t have thought it of you.

Red: No, no, calm down, Aggie. Kathy’s very open-minded about the fictional. If anything, she favors the fictional. Why, she even invited Stephanie Plum, but she hasn't been able to make it yet.

Aggie: Oh, I see. Well, I guess she did create me, so I should give her a break anyway, huh?

Kathy: (chuckling) I see your mojo has fully returned! Is Henry treating you right now?

Aggie: Of course. He knows full well I’m not about to take any of his guff again. How are the folks back at The Springs?

Kathy: Everyone still talks about you Aggie! Especially Blake (Agatha blushes slightly) But otherwise, everyone's fine.

Red: Can I get you a Bloody Mary, Aggie?

Aggie: Sure! What are those? (pointing to a plate of bacon wrapped broiled water chestnuts)

Kathy: Our favorite appetizers! Red said she was sure you’d like them. Here you go. (Passing the plate)

Aggie carefully picked up one of the toothpick speared treats and popped it into her mouth. Her face softened and she moaned a little as the flavor overcame her.  Then she let out a loud laugh of pleasure. 

Red: (happily watching, hands Aggie her Bloody Mary) You like?

Aggie: I like! (sipping her drink) And this too! You make incredible Bloody Marys!

Kathy & Red:  (in unison) It’s our specialty!

Aggie stayed for a couple of hours, chatting and reminiscing about the cruise. Her parting words were:

Aggie: Nice place you got here!

Next up - a bimbo we call "Barbie"!